Four months married and now I thought of writing this blog. Well it only took me four months to realize how shitty marriage can actually get. Just kidding. Marriage is beautiful if lived well or else, I don’t know.
Before beginning, you should know I am a control freak, be it my marriage, life or a wedding if it matters. So, when we were planning the wedding back in the year 2017, yes you read it correct, 2 years of planning and yet it did not go the way it was planned, but but but more on that later.. I’m assuming you have time. (Never make assumptions, still I’ll take the liberty). So, while planning the only thought that came to our minds was to have a December wedding in order to keep the continuity of celebrations beginning from Christmas to New Year, or else whats the fun! No, that’s not true.
Being the freak I am, I started my planning just the way I was taught in the management class. After years of preparation, my experiences were so deadly that I can pen down so much of what can possibly go wrong in a wedding.
Planning since in 2017 and in spite of having all the Pinterest screenshots it still had loopholes which were overlooked by everyone including my husband but NOT ME.
Taking numerous counselling sessions from my fellow married couples, my research began so early that I should have got or booked every wedding expert in the respective field at once, yet still it did not happen. Having to forego my personal favorite choice of hair stylist to acknowledging to the new ideas from everyone around me, I had to face it all, but that didn’t stop me even though I was a baby about it.
Several changes in the theme, bridesmaids dresses to changing wedding invites a thousand times, I’ve done it all. And for this, I just blame stupid Pinterest, DAMN, so many choices. The invites were so personally designed by me, that the designer was fed up and had to deal with the shortage of material 4 times already. Like literally! After reading this I’m sure some designers would say, thank God! We didn’t have to deal with this MANIAC.
Before moving any forward, I warn you to expect zero help from the MEN, because they suck!!!!!!!!!!!! (Not Judging). The one thing I expected from my husband was to show up at the church. They can be your stress busters, can handle your temper, breakdowns and mood swings but can’t help you decide and plan on things. (You should try it).
Deciding on the Venue: Oh! My mother in law was a SAVIOUR. The moment she said YES, my work here was done! (The law is constant!!- No more discussions) and boy, our luck was running 10 minutes faster. 27th December 2019 Gosh! Such a busy day, not everybody is privileged.
Master of Ceremonies: Oh my!!! Here my patience was tested! Had to speak to 20 different MC’s to book and no luck! Yes, so true it is.. not because I dint like them, just because they all were booked, yeah! Now you get right, what a day I chose to get married. My advise: Book before hand, they’re too busy talking.. (wink)
Family Pressure: (Only me!) While in the midst of juggling the entire wedding circus, here starts another drama – a family consent on all my choices or else there was an INTERVENTION! Please Note: These family whatsapp groups are to be blamed.
Gold: Moms are so obsessed with gold, if given a chance, they would make their daughters wear 3 necklaces, 10 rings, 5 bracelets and 24 bangles for their wedding. Being not fond of gold, I decided to be anti-gold, but NO NO NO… my mother couldn’t digest, WELCOME TO VIRTUAL HAVOC (yes, you read that right, on the BLOODY PHONE), She won again. Because, I chose her tears to flow on me going away rather than me not showing off the gold. (I give her a lot of chances to show her tears of disappointment otherwise).
Dealing with the Special People: (By this I don’t mean our neighbours, girl!!!!) Brides are so self obsessed getting married, but no the world doesn’t revolve around us ladies! Please be kind to people behind the scenes. They’re busy too.. I know it will be difficult but just consider, knowing from my experience.
UK Brides; our Goan nickname. Go for Etsy – a reliable platform for brides to be and the ones new in the planning process.
Photography: (Ah, now we are talking!) Goans are supermodels in their own right. Everybody knows the best! Every photographer chosen will be the perfect one!! Only one thing; Keep on smiling on your D-day! Or else your husband’s pictures will be better than yours. This threat is enough for every girl.
WHITE AND BLACK: Nobody would require my expertise on this.. You know it best!!
First Dance: Oh Gosh! Even with the numerous dance lessons, we did not do a single step of the choreography taught, (Note: the tutor was amazing). The pressure was so high, this was bound to happen. Just a tip: Loosen yourself and just do what you can. It’s not a competition!
Dance Off: Its your wedding! Your night! Your moment! Dance till you sweat and your dress tears.. next day my dress was an example itself. Anyway it doesn’t matter, because you’re not going to wear it again, even not at your second wedding.. if in case.
The Last Kiss: I know by the time this happens on the actual day, you and your spouse will be so wasted, just let them know well in advance not to puke in your mouth. No!!!!!!! It did not happen to me, but just saying. Keep practicing, If not the puke, you still wouldn’t want your noses to get in between.
I think I could write a book on this, but this should be enough for now. This has made me realize the moment every girl waits for her entire life just lasts for a day! Planning my own wedding was a joyride and I miss those days. The ride had its own moments of struggle, sacrifices and small special moments which will always be cherished.
My heart goes out to all the couples who had planned their wedding this year, 2020.. being a challenging year. I’m afraid to even plan a child, a wedding is big deal. I really hope it works for you. May this year bring all the luck further on and no more bad lucks and grief in any way!!! Spread positive vibes only!!
For any further help, I’m right here!!! Though not a master at planning weddings but can help you with every bit of my knowledge.
From a newly married sitting at home bored wife.