Our names have different meanings, my name means THE CHOSEN ONE! So, I’m special right??? Yes, I am the chosen one!! The one to have brown complexion, big eyes and a lean body. In spite of getting chosen by the creator for these aesthetic body features, I was chosen by the world to be called as, a black stone, dark, owl and a goat (not Greatest Of All Time for sure).
My father is light skinned and mother is brown skinned and they both had love marriage in the 80’s. The only thought struck my mind, if no colourism came in the way when love blossomed between them, I don’t think, anybody has the right to accuse their product. Yet the world is bitter, nothing can stop it from playing the evil card every now and then.
Living in a childhood where comparison was the favourite thing at all family gatherings, I got nominated for ‘complexion critisicm‘. My brother being light skinned similar to the rest of my distant & close brothers and sisters, I was a prey to heartless tearful remarks and unwanted hatred at times. The poked fun became mockery then taunts which nobody asked.
India being a prey to all fairness creams, I don’t remember which creams, lotions I haven’t tried, briefly remembering, the 21 days fairness cream by Shehnaz Hussain. (solely bought with pocket money and not known to my mother).
The family group photographs had colour yet were stated to be black and white. Having shown the dark side in my childhood, my mind made space for a dark spot which became difficult to eradicate. Treatment in your childhood plays a huge impact in your life as it stays with you forever.
From childhood to teens, the plaque of colourism grew on me. The schooling days became college days, dating period began and crushes happened. The mind grown dark spot with fluorescent lining glowed with constant blinks reminding me of my place which racism created. Falling a prey to the behaviour and treatment, my morale had taken a turn towards low self-esteem, low confidence thinking people outside the family bubble will just judge you for your colour, for which I don’t think is wrong but not always.
Dating became cheating, until one broken nomad stayed. Then marriage happened with this light skinned nomad who was fixed by my colourful heart I guess (wink).
And now, here I am today, sitting in a foreign country talking about being brown. And no I’m not saying I’m not a prey of racism now, its still there, but I’ve learnt to live my life and make myself and people realise I’M BEYOND COLOUR!!! That’s my Takeaway.
It would be wrong to say that I’ve dealt it all by my self. My parents play a huge role in this new built self esteem and showing no difference between their children, their affection and teachings of showing strength to deal with negativity has made me this independent self reliable girl that I’m today. They have been my rock, rock stars, idols and everything that I can think of. No pressure, no enforcement of society norms, just constant support and freedom to live life the way its meant to be lived – best parenting done.
The strength and support to leave the colourism plaque behind is not received by all. But my only advice is, Just let go and flash your confidence! Having said that, I do not support racism!! This should stop! The only way we can stop this is by changing our mindset and learn to accept and treat everybody equally. Our future generations expect a better world where no discrimination is done based on colour.
Having said that , I would like to ponder upon – Racism isn’t limited to just colour, but now has widened to ethnicity, living standards and social media popularism. Lets put an end to this! I actively support #ColourMeRight #alllivesmatter #womenofcolour because this has to stop!!!!!! Period!!